Messages about/to Peter Troxell

March 20, 2004

Peter, You Lousy Pup!

Yes, I know I was always pretty hard on you, but you knew that was because, I envied your core of love and admiration of your talents. Blonde and Beautiful, surrounded by theatre and sexy ladies!!! What a wonderful life you lived. You're a Beautiful Man!

Yes, I was the one always telling you to "Lighten Up!", but we knew that the brilliant laughes that followed was because nothing hurt better than the dramatic irony that fires our belly and the persuits of our sex. Over sensitive men, taking life too seriously is what we were supposed to do.

Thank you for taking the time to read to me and allowing me to read to you. That ritual we had is rare among men and those hours are precious. Very precious.

I appreciate the moments you captured with your photography. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Barney from Hell! Face Painting science and those thousands of theatre moments that interconnect our souls. Photos of making friends for the whole world to see. Endless energy and questions came from our voices while the answers of thoughts spilled trippingly over our mindful tongues, picture after picture recapturing our response. Letting us shift into common gears, the perpetual motion of thinking together as we fellowshipped on a great journey.

Thanks again for being so willing to observe my core of hatefulness and still respect my unreasonableness. You were brave and never afraid to see that some things could eat at us worse than death. To pursue greatness in little steps even when we found ourselves thinking alone.

Few places are there in the whole world were a man can stand in an oval pool under the stars with naked friends and magic lights. Dance for hours as goofy as you can, until every bone aches with joy. Become aware that this could be the best moment of your life. Live on the edge of chaos and feel safe because your buddy is there. Eat enormous amounts of chocolate and realize the abundance of life's offerings may repeat again and again.

Still dealing with the shock that the unfinished plans we imagined are gone with you. This week it seemed easier to have you as one of my imaginary counselors. It made me step beyond my ego and remember our enlightenment. Still dealing with the naivete.

Your direction was flawless and performance a perfect report. You kept great lenses that made for great visions. I will keep my eyes on the flowers.

Digging into the ground this week made me regret that I had not honored you with the care that comes from placing something soft and precious into the neverending earth. A best friend could have done better.

I love the little green box, the cards, the photos, the pleasure, the performance. But most of all, I will be missing your laugh, and will keep it safe.

Alright brother, let me know what it is like on the other side. Goodbye for now, and I will keep a check on Lyle.

Love you my mane. Later.

Steve A.

Steve A'della